{"PaperName": "The Mundane Ledger", "Stories": [{"HeadlineId": "2acf77ff", "Headline": "Fed Independence Resting Comfortably, Say Officials Who Are Holding the Pillow", "OriginalHeadline": "Trump\u2019s Latest Effort to Fire a Fed Official Underscores Political Motives", "ShowOriginal": false, "Angle": "Dark satire: Fed independence on life support", "AngleSetup": "Deadpan reassurance in the style of the 'nothing to fear' exemplar. The White House insists the Fed remains fully independent of everything except the president, with officials monitoring its vitals hourly and asking markets for patience while the independence is assessed by people who report to the person threatening it.", "Rank": 1, "YearMonthDay": "20261014", "StoryId": "w6ebo", "Description": "President Trump tapped his political appointees to determine whether he could oust Lisa Cook, a Fed governor he had already tried to oust.\n\n[Photo: A committee formed by President Trump will decide the fate of a Federal Reserve official he has already tried to fire.]", "Url": "https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/14/business/trump-lisa-cook-federal-reserve-hearing.html", "ImageUrl": "https://static01.nyt.com/images/2026/10/14/multimedia/14dc-trump-fed-cwqj/14dc-trump-fed-cwqj-mediumSquareAt3X.jpg", "Source": "nytimes.com", "PublishedAt": "2026-10-14T09:02:27+00:00", "EditorNote": "Trump formed a committee of his own appointees to decide whether he's allowed to fire a Fed governor he already tried to fire, which is bureaucratic theater where the verdict is the premise.", "IsMashup": false, "SourceStories": [], "SiblingHeadlines": [{"HeadlineId": "2acf77ff", "Headline": "Fed Independence Resting Comfortably, Say Officials Who Are Holding the Pillow", "Angle": "Dark satire: Fed independence on life support", "Rank": 1, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "16786d8e", "Headline": "White House Assures Markets Fed Remains Fully Independent of Everything Except President", "Angle": "Dark satire: Fed independence on life support", "Rank": 19, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "08de93a9", "Headline": "Cook Removal Panel Begins Deliberations, Press Release Already Drafted; Announcement Set for Whenever the Fuck He Says", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: committee timeline", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "14c5889d", "Headline": "Impartial Tribunal Serving at Pleasure of Plaintiff Reports Great Pleasure", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: appellate court ruling", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "1cf91fbe", "Headline": "Panel Hand-Picked by Plaintiff Finds for Plaintiff; Clerk Notes Unanimity Was a Condition of Employment", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: appellate court ruling", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "2dcbfb61", "Headline": "Panel Moves to Evict Fed Governor From Office, Learns She Has Two Primary Desks", "Angle": "Absurdist: two primary desks", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "2def5250", "Headline": "Trump v. Cook: Majority Opinion Written by Trump, Concurrence by Trump, Dissent: Position Vacant", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: appellate court ruling", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "3113ee22", "Headline": "President Loosens Policy on Firing: Cook Eased Out in Quantitative Easing-Out Program", "Angle": "Pun on 'cut' (rates vs. people)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "42dd15d5", "Headline": "Officials Monitoring Fed's Vitals Hourly, Report Findings to Man Who Unplugged It", "Angle": "Dark satire: Fed independence on life support", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "737b5205", "Headline": "Markets Urged to Be Patient While Trump Appointees Determine If Trump Can Fire Lisa Cook", "Angle": "Dark satire: Fed independence on life support", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "7f81b441", "Headline": "Cook Firing Delayed as Bureaucrats Argue Which Desk Is the Real Desk", "Angle": "Absurdist: two primary desks", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "8199a0d0", "Headline": "Trump v. Cook, No. 25-0001: Court Rules 3-0 in Favor of Man Who Appointed Court", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: appellate court ruling", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "86c73e9c", "Headline": "Fed Official Cannot Be Made Professionally Homeless, Owns Two Primary Workspaces", "Angle": "Absurdist: two primary desks", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "96c91f58", "Headline": "Antsy Committee Reviewing Trump's Authority to Fire Lisa Cook Says Findings Will Arrive Whenever the Fuck He Says", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: committee timeline", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "ab5ce6e7", "Headline": "Trump Committee Stalls on Cook Removal Pending Zoning Variance for Second Desk", "Angle": "Absurdist: two primary desks", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "b3a35d72", "Headline": "Frustrated President Slashes Fed Staff by 25 Basis Points, or 1 Cook", "Angle": "Pun on 'cut' (rates vs. people)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "c7f78a50", "Headline": "Fed Governor's Fate Placed in Hands of Independent Committee Trump Picked Last Week, Verdict Due Whenever the Fuck He Says", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: committee timeline", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "d6548492", "Headline": "Panel of Trump Appointees Weighs Whether Trump May Fire Fed Governor; Results Expected Whenever the Fuck He Says", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: committee timeline", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "f11bfd83", "Headline": "Trump Cuts Cook Faster Than Rates, Which Is to Say, Eventually Maybe", "Angle": "Pun on 'cut' (rates vs. people)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "f9373bdd", "Headline": "Trump Can't Get Fed to Cut Rates, Settles for Cutting Cook", "Angle": "Pun on 'cut' (rates vs. people)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}]}, {"HeadlineId": "8a4c0747", "Headline": "Surprise Out-of-Network Bill Now Leading Obstacle to 200th Birthday, Ahead of Cancer and Heart Disease", "OriginalHeadline": "Will Anyone Actually Ever Live to 200? / Choosing a Medicare Advantage Provider for 2027 May Be Easier, but Not Perfect", "ShowOriginal": false, "Angle": "Dark satire: the billing system kills you before biology can", "AngleSetup": "Say the ugly part plainly: the human body might hold up for 200 years, but American medical billing can finish it off in three. Longevity researchers list 'surprise out-of-network bill' as the leading obstacle to centenarian status, ahead of cancer and heart disease. Meanwhile, Medicare Advantage insurers eagerly support 200-year lifespans, provided members keep paying premiums and never use the coverage. The path to immortality runs straight through prior authorization, and you're denied.", "Rank": 10, "YearMonthDay": "20261014", "StoryId": "pfyse", "Description": "Some experts are optimistic that science will eventually find ways to extend life, but many longevity claims are unrealistic.\n\nThe government has made improvements to the Medicare Plan Finder, a key online tool, in time for open enrollment. It helps seniors compare policies to avoid costly surprises.\n\n[Photo: Blythe Carey went to see a doctor last year after being told the physician was in her Medicare Advantage network. The doctor wasn\u2019t, and later Ms. Carey received a large bill.]", "Url": "https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/14/well/live/humans-lifespan-limits-potential.html", "ImageUrl": "https://static01.nyt.com/images/2026/10/14/well/14well-age-longevity/14well-age-longevity-mediumSquareAt3X.jpg", "Source": "nytimes.com", "PublishedAt": "2026-10-14T09:00:38+00:00", "EditorNote": "Experts debate whether humans will ever live to 200 while actual seniors can't figure out which Medicare Advantage plan includes the doctor they were told was in-network, so immortality is near but the Plan Finder isn't.", "IsMashup": true, "SourceStories": [{"Title": "Will Anyone Actually Ever Live to 200?", "Description": "Some experts are optimistic that science will eventually find ways to extend life, but many longevity claims are unrealistic.", "Url": "https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/14/well/live/humans-lifespan-limits-potential.html", "Source": "nytimes.com"}, {"Title": "Choosing a Medicare Advantage Provider for 2027 May Be Easier, but Not Perfect", "Description": "The government has made improvements to the Medicare Plan Finder, a key online tool, in time for open enrollment. It helps seniors compare policies to avoid costly surprises.\n\n[Photo: Blythe Carey went to see a doctor last year after being told the physician was in her Medicare Advantage network. The doctor wasn\u2019t, and later Ms. Carey received a large bill.]", "Url": "https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/14/business/medicare-advantage-plan-finder.html", "Source": "nytimes.com"}], "SiblingHeadlines": [{"HeadlineId": "8a4c0747", "Headline": "Surprise Out-of-Network Bill Now Leading Obstacle to 200th Birthday, Ahead of Cancer and Heart Disease", "Angle": "Dark satire: the billing system kills you before biology can", "Rank": 10, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "0eb95d2c", "Headline": "Seniors Using Improved Plan Finder to Locate Which Insurer Will Deny Them Immortality Most Efficiently", "Angle": "Dark satire: the billing system kills you before biology can", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "10626bf2", "Headline": "Open Enrollment Opens With Better Website; Longevity Experts Promise Extra Lifetime So Seniors Can Figure This Shit Out, Officials Said", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: institutional resignation on enrollment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "13091d80", "Headline": "Longevity Experts Promise 200-Year Lifespan; Medicare Advantage Promises Your Doctor Is In-Network, Both Wrong", "Angle": "Pun on Medicare's 'donut hole'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "3c86c615", "Headline": "Obituary: First Person to Reach 200 (2031\u20132231) Loved Gardening, Bridge, and Disputing Charges; Survived by Bill from Doctor Who Was 'In-Network' in 2027", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: the 200-year obituary", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "4a50f55b", "Headline": "Dead at 200: She Outlived Her Husbands, Her Grandchildren Through the Eighth Generation, and Every Appeal, but Not the Balance Due", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: the 200-year obituary", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "6d86f45f", "Headline": "Scientists Confirm Humans Can Live to 200, but Medicare's Donut Hole Covers Ages 80 to 200", "Angle": "Pun on Medicare's 'donut hole'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "73290725", "Headline": "Scientists Confirm Humans Could Live to 200, Pending Approval From Your Medicare Advantage Plan", "Angle": "Dark satire: the billing system kills you before biology can", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "79fe180d", "Headline": "Woman, 200, Dies in Suriname at Clinic Plan Finder Called 'Local'; Survived by Eight Generations and One Outstanding Balance", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: the 200-year obituary", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "992e3e91", "Headline": "Woman Lives to 200, Finishes Medicare Homework, Learns Doctor Was Out-of-Network Since 2027", "Angle": "Absurdist: Plan Finder as a 200-year homework assignment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "a6beebd7", "Headline": "Plan Finder Improved: Seniors Now Need Only One Extra Lifetime to Confirm Doctor Is In-Network", "Angle": "Absurdist: Plan Finder as a 200-year homework assignment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "b1198ee7", "Headline": "Will Anyone Live to 200? Yes, Out-of-Network, Out-of-Pocket and Out of Luck From 80 On", "Angle": "Pun on Medicare's 'donut hole'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "c30ab22c", "Headline": "Scientists Unlock 200-Year Lifespan; Government Says Extra 120 Years Are for Comparing Medicare Plans", "Angle": "Absurdist: Plan Finder as a 200-year homework assignment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "d91f0039", "Headline": "CMS Unveils Easier 2027 Plan Finder, Encourages Seniors Surprised by Out-of-Network Bills to Live to 200 and Figure This Shit Out, Officials Said", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: institutional resignation on enrollment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "e00ac36d", "Headline": "Improved 2027 Medicare Plan Finder Ready for Open Enrollment; If Scientists Are Right About 200-Year Lifespans, Seniors Will Finally Have Time to Figure This Shit Out, Officials Said", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: institutional resignation on enrollment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "e4f7d6c6", "Headline": "Path to 200 Years Runs Through Prior Authorization; Request Denied, Please Resubmit in 2127", "Angle": "Dark satire: the billing system kills you before biology can", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "ec23cf27", "Headline": "In Lieu of Flowers, World's Oldest Woman Asks Mourners to Please Call Her Medicare Advantage Provider About a 2027 Invoice", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: the 200-year obituary", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "f4a08803", "Headline": "Longevity Experts Admit Hold Music Is Only Proven Life Extender, Since Every Minute Feels Like a Decade", "Angle": "Absurdist: Plan Finder as a 200-year homework assignment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "fcf01c64", "Headline": "New Plan Finder Helps Seniors Spot 120-Year Coverage Gap Before Surprise Bill for Living", "Angle": "Pun on Medicare's 'donut hole'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "fd58c207", "Headline": "Officials Say Medicare Plan Finder Upgrade Is a Start, Noting Longevity Research May Give Seniors the 150 Extra Years Needed to Figure This Shit Out", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: institutional resignation on enrollment", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}]}, {"HeadlineId": "04113495", "Headline": "Bank of America Calls $1.2 Billion Fine 'Cost of Doing Business,' Charges Cashier $35 for Being $4 Short", "OriginalHeadline": "Bank of America Fined $1.2 Billion for Lax Money-Laundering Oversight", "ShowOriginal": true, "Angle": "Dark satire / reversal: the overdraft double standard", "AngleSetup": "Set the $1.2 billion fine next to the bank's own fees, in the same deadpan wire tone. The bank calls it a reasonable cost of doing business on the same day it charges a cashier $35 for being $4 short on groceries and freezes a nurse's account for 'unusual activity' over a $60 Venmo. Its fraud system works perfectly, just pointed at the wrong people.", "Rank": 7, "YearMonthDay": "20261014", "StoryId": "ahfaa", "Description": "Federal regulators said the bank had waved through suspicious transactions without proper care.\n\n[Photo: Federal regulators reported systemic gaps in Bank of America\u2019s money-laundering compliance program.]", "Url": "https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/13/business/bank-of-america-money-laundering-fine.html", "ImageUrl": "https://static01.nyt.com/images/2026/10/13/multimedia/13biz-bank-america-fine-vcfm/13biz-bank-america-fine-vcfm-mediumSquareAt3X.jpg", "Source": "nytimes.com", "PublishedAt": "2026-10-14T03:42:19+00:00", "EditorNote": "Bank of America gets fined $1.2 billion for 'waving through' suspicious transactions, a penalty that is itself a rounding error, so there's a joke about the fine being processed with the same diligence.", "IsMashup": false, "SourceStories": [], "SiblingHeadlines": [{"HeadlineId": "56506938", "Headline": "Nation's Second-Largest Laundromat Fined $1.2 Billion for Never Checking Pockets", "Angle": "Circumlocution: the bank as a literal laundromat", "Rank": 2, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "04113495", "Headline": "Bank of America Calls $1.2 Billion Fine 'Cost of Doing Business,' Charges Cashier $35 for Being $4 Short", "Angle": "Dark satire / reversal: the overdraft double standard", "Rank": 7, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "75c602f7", "Headline": "Bank Flags Nurse's $60 Venmo as 'Unusual Activity,' Waves Through Billions in Suspicious Transfers", "Angle": "Dark satire / reversal: the overdraft double standard", "Rank": 21, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "0ddd9b7d", "Headline": "Bank of America Fined $1.2 Billion, Promises Oversight Will Be Overseen by Different Oversight", "Angle": "Pun on 'oversight' (supervision vs. mistake)", "Rank": 22, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "14040b8a", "Headline": "Bank of America to Pay $1.2 Billion Over Compliance Failures; Sum Is Roughly Two Weeks of Fucking Profit, Regulator Confirms", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the rounding-error fine", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "40cc0d4d", "Headline": "BofA Fraud Alert: Did You Authorize a $1.2 Billion Payment to U.S. Treasury? Reply YES or NO", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: fraud-alert text message", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "568db894", "Headline": "OCC Fines Bank of America $1.2 Billion for Money-Laundering Lapses, Approximately Two Weeks of Fucking Profit", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the rounding-error fine", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "5dad753e", "Headline": "Bank of America Flags First Suspicious Transaction Ever: Its Own $1.2 Billion Fine", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: fraud-alert text message", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "61504a95", "Headline": "Bank of America's Fraud Detection Praised for Flawless Accuracy in Catching Wrong People", "Angle": "Dark satire / reversal: the overdraft double standard", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "7a08ca40", "Headline": "Tuvalu Shell Company: Approved. U.S. Treasury: Flagged. Reply STOP to End Accountability", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: fraud-alert text message", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "82beb41b", "Headline": "Comptroller of the Currency Announces $1.2 Billion Penalty Against Bank of America, Equal to Roughly Two Weeks of Fucking Profit", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the rounding-error fine", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "910e088d", "Headline": "Bank Fined $1.2 Billion for Ignoring Shady Transactions, Immediately Overdrafts Teacher for Buying Lunch", "Angle": "Dark satire / reversal: the overdraft double standard", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "948bf403", "Headline": "Bank Regrets Oversight of Oversight After Brief Reflection That Ended at Close of Business", "Angle": "Pun on 'oversight' (supervision vs. mistake)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "9fd5c96b", "Headline": "\"It Was an Oversight,\" Says Bank Fined for Oversight, in Statement Experts Call Circular and Accidentally Honest", "Angle": "Pun on 'oversight' (supervision vs. mistake)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "ace06778", "Headline": "Local Laundromat Pays $1.2 Billion Over Lint Trap Full of Unmarked Bills", "Angle": "Circumlocution: the bank as a literal laundromat", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "bc8a2c9c", "Headline": "Laundromat Owner Defends Gentle Cycle, Loving Care for All 40 Daily Duffel Bags", "Angle": "Circumlocution: the bank as a literal laundromat", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "c5eab5d3", "Headline": "Regulators Assess Record Penalty Against Bank of America, Noting It Represents Roughly Two Weeks of Fucking Profit", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the rounding-error fine", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "d813b7bd", "Headline": "BofA Fraud Department Finally Springs Into Action After Spotting Unusually Large Payment to Government", "Angle": "Format-borrowing: fraud-alert text message", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "d82e542c", "Headline": "Bank of America Admits Lax Oversight Was an Oversight, Fined $1.2 Billion for Both Meanings", "Angle": "Pun on 'oversight' (supervision vs. mistake)", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "dfbd69a1", "Headline": "Regulators Shocked as Wash-and-Fold Giant Never Asked Why One Customer Needed Everything Cleaned Twice", "Angle": "Circumlocution: the bank as a literal laundromat", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}]}, {"HeadlineId": "b9aa74f6", "Headline": "\"No Intelligent Person Would Read It,\" Argues Immaculately Dressed Lawyer on Behalf of Company Paying Him $2,000 an Hour", "OriginalHeadline": "In Age of Online Ads, Supreme Court Weighs Videotape-Era Privacy Law", "ShowOriginal": false, "Angle": "Reversal: defendant's self-own defense", "AngleSetup": "The legal question is whether newsletter subscribers count as 'consumers' of a video provider's services. Flip it so Paramount's lawyers, led by the immaculate Paul Clement, argue the newsletter is so worthless and unread that no intelligent person could consider it a service at all. A media giant winning by proving its own product is legally garbage reads as a deadpan triumph.", "Rank": 15, "YearMonthDay": "20261014", "StoryId": "jdzjm", "Description": "The justices will consider how the Video Privacy Protection Act of 1988 applies in the digital age of streaming videos, email newsletters and targeted advertisements.\n\n[Photo: Judge Robert H. Bork during his Supreme Court confirmation hearing in 1987.]", "Url": "https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/14/us/politics/supreme-court-bork-video-privacy.html", "ImageUrl": "https://static01.nyt.com/images/2026/10/14/multimedia/14dc-scotus-bork-jzfg/14dc-scotus-bork-jzfg-mediumSquareAt3X-v2.jpg", "Source": "nytimes.com", "PublishedAt": "2026-10-14T19:23:55+00:00", "EditorNote": "The Supreme Court decides whether a 1988 law, passed after a reporter got Robert Bork's video rental list, covers email newsletters and ad trackers; Blockbuster-era law meets surveillance capitalism.", "IsMashup": false, "SourceStories": [], "SiblingHeadlines": [{"HeadlineId": "b9aa74f6", "Headline": "\"No Intelligent Person Would Read It,\" Argues Immaculately Dressed Lawyer on Behalf of Company Paying Him $2,000 an Hour", "Angle": "Reversal: defendant's self-own defense", "Rank": 15, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "06015aac", "Headline": "Bork-Era Law Faces Modern Test: Does 'Video Tape Service Provider' Include Any Nosy Fuck With Your Watch History?", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the nosy clerk", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "0b0354fe", "Headline": "Supreme Court Adjusts Tracking on 1988 Privacy Law, Still Can't Get Picture of Meta Pixel", "Angle": "Pun on VCR 'tracking'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "16a7e1ae", "Headline": "Nation's Strongest Privacy Law Written in Panic by Men Terrified of Own Hitchcock Binges", "Angle": "Dark satire: privacy as a perk of power", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "183f71c6", "Headline": "Court Struggles to Fix Fuzzy Understanding of Ad Tech as Ad Tech Tracks Court in 4K", "Angle": "Pun on VCR 'tracking'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "39950543", "Headline": "Media Giant Argues Its Own Newsletter Is Legally Garbage; Justices Nod, Check Spam Folders", "Angle": "Reversal: defendant's self-own defense", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "3b89d2b8", "Headline": "Justices Fiddle With Tracking Knob for Two Hours; Pixel Gets Crystal-Clear Shot of Them", "Angle": "Pun on VCR 'tracking'", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "3d8fcd7d", "Headline": "300 Million Americans Still Waiting for a Senator to Be Personally Embarrassed by a Cookie", "Angle": "Dark satire: privacy as a perk of power", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "3eb20cad", "Headline": "Congress Shocked to Learn Privacy Matters Only When It's Their Rental History", "Angle": "Dark satire: privacy as a perk of power", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "3ecda560", "Headline": "Paul Clement Tells Supreme Court Paramount Newsletter Is Too Worthless to Be a Service, Wins Praise From Paramount", "Angle": "Reversal: defendant's self-own defense", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "45d578e1", "Headline": "Justices Weigh 1988 Statute's Reach: Is Meta a Nosy Fuck at the Video Store Reading Your Rentals to Staff?", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the nosy clerk", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "52cba70e", "Headline": "Bork's Rental List Protected Forever; Yours Still Available to Highest Bidder", "Angle": "Dark satire: privacy as a perk of power", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "5dd3cabe", "Headline": "Supreme Court to Decide Whether Facebook Is Legally Just Some Nosy Fuck Behind the Blockbuster Counter", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the nosy clerk", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "67e90630", "Headline": "Court Hears Arguments on Whether Data Brokers Qualify as Nosy Fuck Under Video Privacy Protection Act", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: the nosy clerk", "Rank": null, "YearMonthDay": "20261014"}, {"HeadlineId": "7840a859", "Headline": "Supreme Court Weighs Whether Anyone Has Ever Subscribed to Anything on Purpose", "Angle": "Reversal: defendant's self-own 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