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"20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "42086c9d", "Headline": "New Company Will Be 'Greater Than Sum Of Its Parts,' Leadership Says, Then Sells The Fucking Parts", "Angle": "DEADPAN PROFANITY: synergy memo", "Rank": 10, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "f4bb16f3", "Headline": "Hospital Roadmap Finalized Through Phase Two; Residents Advised Not to Get Fucking Sick in the Meantime", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: official three-phase plan", "Rank": 10, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "1c7a957c", "Headline": "After Due Diligence and Formal Deliberation, Society of Mathematicians Issues Official Statement: 'Oh. 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"YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "1027624b", "Headline": "Panel Spends Months Verifying OpenAI Claims, Publishes Findings Under Peer-Reviewed Title 'Oh, Fuck'", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: peer-reviewed despair", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "564aca8d", "Headline": "Macron Urges Patience as Government Takes Painstaking Steps to Determine Who the Fuck Is Prime Minister This Week", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: government churn", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "680fda65", "Headline": "Tennessee Unveils New Healthcare Plan: Step One, Try To Kill You", "Angle": "Dark satire / reversal: execution as Tennessee's only working healthcare program", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "d4041ca5", "Headline": "U.S. Hails 'Ironclad' Alliance With Britain, Quietly Fucks Off Before Drones Arrive", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: special relationship", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "da71d524", "Headline": "According to Filing Tuesday, Only Remaining Dispute Is Exact Moment Prosecutors Realized, Oh Fuck, Wrong Guy", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity on 'what they knew when'", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "e3bac437", "Headline": "West Suburban Briefing Lists Phase Three as 'TBD,' Which Sources Clarify Means Fucked If We Know", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity: official three-phase plan", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "e9728a0c", "Headline": "Bulgarian Investigators Still Determining Drone Origin, Decline to Look at a Fucking Map", "Angle": "Deadpan profanity on the origin mystery", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "f893fa68", "Headline": "Citizens Reportedly 'Satisfied,' Authorities Suspect Foul Play", "Angle": "Reversal: contentment as the national emergency", "Rank": 18, "YearMonthDay": "20261006"}, {"HeadlineId": "703e1cf1", "Headline": "Conference TV Calendar: Seven Games On Linear Television, Rest Require 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